Its always good to make a plan and stick to it. Nothing beats deciding at 5pm your gonna flirt with alcohol poisoning tonight and accomplishing the goal. That feeling you get when you suddenly wake up on your front steps is only trumped by the feeling you get when you stand up, realize your pockets are empty and the steps before you do not lead to your home. When it comes to blacking out people like my friends go above and beyond.
I'm not sure if you had to take it when you came into college but I had to take a short online class called AlcoholEdu for college and my frat. For those lucky enough not to have been exposed to this waste of time let me fill you in. Every thing you know and love about drinking is dangerous. This little educational segment attempt to tell me that drinking 5 or more drinks in a night is called binge drinking. Clearly, the institutions behind AlcoholEdu don't realize if you don't have more than 5 drinks your wasting your time and your not even gonna catch a buzz. Forget 5 drinks a night my friends have like 5 drinks an hour, and if not your a hater. How can you expect to black out on 5 drinks? Ill take 5 pints of bourbon on the rocks please. Thank you.
Look don't even try to tell me I'm being unhealthy or that my liver is going to get some crazy disease. It won't. I mean hell, I made it this far with out getting swine flu or AIDS up until this point in my life. Shit, liver disease has shit on that. You know what you need liver disease? A good strong bourbon and coke or five.
Clearly anyone that doubts the joy or accomplishment behind blacking out on purpose has never experienced it. Just ask my blackout partner in crime, JP. I say next time a birthday is coming up or some festivity is around the corner, put your hand on a friends shoulder and say "Tryna blackout tonight?" I dare you to tell me that wasn't the highlight of your week. Until next time.
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